A Strong Love for God…
It is a dream of mine to be able to preach all over the world with these websites. Right now however, I am at the bottom of the search engines. God knows I pay a lot of money per month for hosting, and it is money I cannot afford to spend, to keep these websites going. I have tried to make voice recordings, but almost all of them come out wrong. It seems these days one must wow his audience within seconds or you will be termed boring. I am not here to sell you something unless that something is salvation through Jesus Christ LORD and Savior which is free.
I have my own desires. It is my desire that everyone would go to church on Saturday and read from the King James AV Bible. It is my desire to see attitudes left outside the front door of the church. It is my desire that people would be happy serving God in grace and not to boast about works. It is easy to say how much we tithe, give to the homeless, or that we are a great servant in the LORD. The Apostle Paul told us in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 that unless we have love we are nothing.
I guess maybe I expect too much. I didn’t expect my best friend to send me to prison for nearly a decade. I don’t expect a man that shows me his pastoral license and that is set up to be my caretaker by the county, after prison to steal all of my credit cards and run them all over the top. I expect us to get along with each other and not be divided by color or race. I expect to be treated equal even though I went to prison. My first day in church right after prison one woman said to me “shame on you” for going to prison. Prison is all about shame. I don’t need any other shame. I should have turned my back on that church and never walked through their doors again, but I don’t quit that easy. It was her problem and not I.
I expect people to love their God but it seems to all come to us so easy we never have a respect for a thing. Free Bibles, free grace, and freedom of religion: It is all the perfect appetite for lukewarm love to a God who did everything for us. We cannot regulate all our blessings, nor can we will God’s hand one way or another. We think we do and yes even for a time Satan will bless us for what I call a silly season until he retracts his golden hand. In an instant we can lose everything then what lord will you call upon. Will you call upon LORD Jesus or will you turn to the con-artist Satan. Satan will surely tear your world apart in the end; I know because in ignorance I used to serve him. What I used to think was blessings were only temporal and in the end I was left out of my mind in a cold rubber prison cell.
I’ve watched it from my own websites that whenever you give something away for free we don’t respect it as if we would have paid for it. I know I will be chastised and rebuked over my words but I highly doubt anyone will scroll down this far anyhow. Wordy websites are not common though I feel I have a lot to say about God. I want to speak about God and I am excited about God and his Word. When I open the King James AV or the 1560 Geneva or the Wycliffe Bible I fall in love with God more and more. I know God’s Word is true, from the old Bibles I read, though try as I may I can’t understand a word out of modern Bibles as they are so badly corrupted. I ask, though I am an abomination of a man, do you love God? We may say it with lip service, but do you honor God in all your ways? Are you like me; a fallen and corrupted man? Are you like the shifting of the wind who one day honors God in church and for the rest of the time does his or her own will? It is easy to say I love God, but by your actions do you live the life of a Christian?
Let me speak this to a certain church on a hill in Redding California. Are you trying to buy certain knowledge or a power for a price as Simon the sorcerer did in the book of Acts? My God I serve does not require money in order for me to gain something in return from Him. My God does not put a price on my healing nor will I pay any amount to anyone for healing except at a hospital. God’s healing is free and yes I do believe in healing miracles. All of us tend to want something at the hand of God, and for the most part that is alright. The thing is God may not give it and then where will you be. You can empty your wallet out but that doesn’t mean you can heal one single soul. When this happens will you praise God or will you be harsh and bitter toward God?
I do not feel money, at least not at first, is what the good LORD is asking of me. If all my main web sites will just go viral, if it is ready for God, then the much needed money will come at a later date. I just hope I will have December's food money for my orphans. I even gave up on renewing my driver's license just so I could feed my children. If you are interested in sending money here is the site I host for these children:
I have a Christian question to ask of you. Why feed a man who is already rich for selling "powers" to you. Children that have been left off on the door step of an already crowded Christian orphanage are needing your support. I have provided these children with food shelter and Bibles with very little other help. I have been faithful each and every month to them.
Last night I had a major letdown. I had purchased a system of traffic exchange but when I logged onto my site nothing was free. The one trial site I set up that was so “simple” did not work. It was not a scam, and thank God I was only out $10, but still my dreams of getting visitors to my sites were crushed again. My heart was broken and in depression and frustration I slept most of the day. Now I am back working on my websites once again. As I sit in front of the computer I try not to offend anyone with what I say, and without painting a negative picture of Jesus. As I work and rework text constantly I hope to one day get it all right. I want sites that honor God. I pray God will bless me with the finances for SEO, and/or put these sites into the search engines by God’s own hand. I learned from too many mistakes I am nothing without the hand of God. amen May 10, 2015
This is the time to really put our trust in the God we serve. He will bless us. I can't tell you the amount of stress I am under right now. I have had a lot of confusion and worries. I have to pay my vow. I have to get my bills paid. As it stands now I don't know if I have another four more days left of food. I have .55 cents on my card and .16 cents in loose change. God hasn't given me a financial blessing in the past that I really know of so I fear God won't give one now. It is the fear and doubt I have to lay aside and put all my trust in God. God is the only thing that has kept me from falling apart. Right now my faith is good but I admit there are a lot of times my fears took control of my life. I know God has been blessing this computer and the laptop. God blesses my health. God blesses this house and the few things I own. There are times I had hoped God did better, but those times are overcome by the goodness and grace God has given me. It is this month where I am positioned for a miracle. It is the times when everything looks impossible and it appears that there is no way. Those are the times when God waters the crops even without rain. Right now California is headed for the worst drought ever (no rain.) Our dams are getting lower and lower and there is no hope. Our government has decided to build more dams but the problem they have not decided is where are they going to get the water to fill the dams. Not only that it takes years to plan for the dams and perhaps decades to build them. In the meantime what must we do? We will die of thirst. There is one perfect solution which works perfect and doesn't cost a penny. Do you know what that is? Prayer of course! None of our leaders have suggested prayer because their lives and their principles do not rest on the Bible or the God of heaven and earth. Even if they did pray what god would they pray to? Would they pray to the god of abortion, or perhaps gay marriage? Maybe they would pray for more wealth and power. Perhaps they would pray to the god of beauty, fame, or to their own cars or expensive homes. Non-sense all of it. All we have to do is get our lives out of the TV, off the internet, cell phone, facebook, or the latest music trend and the god of football. We do that in such excess. I am not suggesting spending all your time with God because God knows we need money and we need to live. Start by reading the Bible and praying to God Almighty. Then and only then will God give us the desires we ask for amen.
(1Pe 3:12) For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
Tomorrow November 11, 2015 I have to begin begging for money on a street corner. I cannot believe things finally came to this point. This ministry (of blessing as I give to those more poor than I) is broke and next month my orphans will have to starve to death. It makes me think to myself the following words:
(Psa 37:25) I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
A Letter of Repentance to God... dated December 15, 2015 after a demonic attack in the wee hours of the night. I know in saying what I am about to say I am the very person I mentioned that would not like this site. I am that hypocritical person. What I have become is a bitter old man laden with sinful acts and non-Christian behaviors. I am not sure if any of what I do is connected with my mental illness I suffer with.
When God says no it is best to take heed. Tonight I suffered greatly in my sleep over an inappropriate internet picture. I thought to myself I really need this but this sin was not allowed. In my dream I had no protection over the enemy. The dream was absolute reality. I had to fight off demons in my dreams. They tried to stick a knife through my heart. Nothing could protect me not a person in my dream or my Hebrew words. I had to fight the demons off with my own strength because God could not help me. I faced evil demons on every side and for what a picture on the internet I had no business going to. I just hope and pray this is the only demonic attack. See I have a sex addiction and no wife. I have been alone for 18 years but to God that is not an excuse. Now I pray God heals my dreams.
(Psa 66:18) If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:
(1Jn 1:9) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
(Pro 10:12) Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
(Jas 2:10) For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
People try and tell me sin is sin and you can be forgiven by repenting. I tell you, you can lose things real quick or invite a demon in. As in my situation the demons that were at my foot stool came to fight me. I lost that hedge of protection and now I ask from a sinner that you restore my life and grant me a life better than what I have now. I know what I present you are abominable works from the enemy. I am a fool who fell into Satan's trap once again. LORD please bless me with the things I have asked for including a wife. LORD please understand how weak I am. Please wash this evil sin away. amen
God is a serious God and while I believe God will heal me and cause me no more harm. I could have died in my sleep tonight. While I worry still the worry makes me a prisoner to my sin. I hope God returns to me without sending further destruction. People try and put God in a box and know they can but the problem is God does not fit in a box. I believe God is love and he is fair. While I believe many people will get a second chance at eternal life the chance can't be taken lightly. People say God hates the sin but loves the sinner: I tell you it is only the sinner God loves that turns from sin. I was a fool tonight and I nearly lost my soul. I pray to God I lose nothing else or other bad things happen. I pray to God He heals my sin and makes me whole once again. amen and amen...
I know I sin each and every day. For one I do not take God serious like I should. I should at least spend an hour with God reading the Bible each day. I have failed you in every way God and I don't know how to repent anymore. It is like all the love I once had is gone. I have failed to get my colors back and porportoins right in my art. The only joy I have in life is in being kind to others. Last night in a dream (12/30/2015) I saw a devourer named Todd Jessie Garton. He made a mess of all that I owned. He took all my material things and began to devour all the food in the house. Finally after becoming very angry I threw Todd over my shoulders and carried him outside the house. I threw him into his vehicle. Todd was a wasting spirit who even kept his engine running and there was cash in his vehicle too so I knew he had food money. In the dream the van was green. I looked up green on a Bible color site: Green: Praise, eternal life, vigor, prosperity, mercy, restoration, health, healing, new beginning, freshness, God's holy seed, harvest, sowing and reaping, immortality, fresh oil, new life, joy in hope. Rom 12:12; Ps. 23:2; Gen. 1:30; Lk. 23:31; Rev. 22:2; Ps. 92:14. Simply put I hauled out the trash in 2015. amen...