MyChristianWalk
Updates on understanding how much the LORD Jesus Christ loves me.  Scroll to the right column for more! 

I just watched the movie, "God's Not Dead!" today June 11, 2014.  I had some very bad attitudes toward God.  For a long time I have wondered and still wonder how God will judge His people.  I have often thought God will be a harsh judge but in examining myself I was a harsh Christian.  I have had a very bad attitude and it has reflected in my writings.  I have not been a good Christian to say the least.  I am hoping the movie I watched today will put a new smile on my face and keep it there.  I am sorry I am just trying to do the best I can.  I have been battling a lot of anger and depression.  I am trying my hardest to get over it.  I apologize for my bad behavior.  I admit I don't always have the most eloquent words to say but I try my hardest.  These websites are here for you to understand you aren't the only one going through trials and tribulations.  If I can give you just one word to hang onto, the Word God, I hope it gives you all the hope you need.
This site and the available links are directed to help people out of the situations in life we may face.  I too have faced all these troubles but through Christ Strength and Glory I am overcoming.  The thing is Christianity is a lonely road if you try to do it yourself in your own power.  When we yoke up with Christ these problems in our lives are not necessarily gone but they are easier to deal with.  Just remember to say your prayers because God is always listening.  Even if you don't think you are right with God, God still hears.  Back in 1998 I was up to no good and when I cried out to God, even as the atheist I was, my life and two others were spared because I prayed a simple prayer.  It still meant going to prison for eight years seven months, however I am alive today because of that prayer I made under my own breath.  I lived through prison and turned out to be a strong enemy of Satan and was spared total separation from God.  
amen...
For many many years now I have felt scared of God's anger, and worried over each and every one of my sins.  I have felt God was out to get me.  If I wasn't worried about myself I worried that God was out to get a loved one.  I based my salvation on works and never found forgiveness in the LORD's eyes.  My anger and hostilities were poured out all over every page of these websites.  I have even been angry at God to the point of cursing Him daily and for a long time my frustrations grew worse and why do I say this.  I am so sorry God.  Years later May 31st, 2018 I see your plans more clearly.  You don't plan to leave me in a failed state of decay, but rather one day soon raise me from the sewers of this life amen.
Because if I try and say what a great person I am I'd be a liar guilty of condemnation.  I am sorry but the man on the other side of this computer is not perfect.  I am a human being perhaps even like you, perhaps you are better than me.  It is not hard to be better than me.  I am a wicked sinner guilty as charged.  
This is not MySpace or Facebook nor is it a popularity contest.  God is not interested in how many friends you have or your status in church or the money you make.  No instead God wants a relationship with you.  
The reason for this site is to let people know I am not some person that you can't relate to.  At one time I had dreams of a great ministry.  I had planned to be a better Christian but perhaps like you my Christian walk has not been easy.  I fell from God's glory and it seems now I can only rely on what Jesus did for me on the cross. All my works that I bragged upon have become filthy rags.  I am sorry God I have sinned and fell from the glory of being a Christian.  The law I stare at the Ten Commandments I am guilty of breaking them.  I can only look down on Earth beat my breast and cry out in pain, "God forgive me a sinner.  I am a dog returning again to my own vomit." 
In my life I have been worried about everything I said thinking that people would not forgive me if I spoke honestly.  I just cannot be a phony anymore.  If am trying to please people with my words and works without being me and without being honest then I am failing even worse.  I forgot that God is love (1 John 4:8).    
I am a rebel in my church since all I read are ancient Bibles.  I had to quit my old church and I am not happy with any church now especially those that preach a hyper-grace message.  In my life I chose the way of Abraham instead of the green pastures of Lot.  In life everything seemed to have impossibilities but still I press on.  At least now I have learned that God is not out to get me and that he still loves me even though I sin.  
I pay 39.99, over 80.00 now, dollars a month to keep these websites posted even though I get zero visitors other than semalt.  Semalt is a virus that tries multiple times each and every day over several of my sites to destroy Bible Heaven, Color Your World With God's Love.  I do these websites for God and if they are for God I need to speak for Him instead of speaking for myself.  I feel it is important to let people know the purpose of these sites and that is to let people know I am human as they are human.  I am not here to tell you to stop sinning when I am a far worse sinner than you can imagine.  In some people's eyes that may make people think that I am a horrible person.  I am a horrible person who does not deserve God's grace.  The thing is though it is by God's mercy and grace and my honesty and repentance that makes me forgiven:  Knowing Jesus as savior is most important but I believe being a Christian is more than singing in a pew, a tithe, and an hour message that is often not what the Bible is saying:  Christianity is a daily walk with God, and that is not always with comfortable smooth words from a pastor.  It is reading the Bible oneself and adhering to its truth's.  It is by telling God I don't deserve heaven and how could God forgive a sinner like me when God steps in and says my sacrifice is good enough for you.  (1John 1:8-10)  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
I have never thought as my church thinks that there is only one church.  There are many bad churches and a few good churches though often it is the pastor that makes or breaks the church.  There is not one church that is the master church.  Why you might ask; because God shares his spirit and truth through many people in many churches even through many Bibles.  While I recommend the King James Bible with Strongest Strongs to everyone your truths may come in the form of an NIV.  I don't recommend using a modern Bible for long as even I read the NIV, however in due time pick up a King James and see the difference.  
Years ago I told God I would preach for him if he got me through prison.  It was a vow that I did not know was a vow or even what a vow is.  I have been preaching God's word to an audience of zero people.  Some of these web pages get long and they are not well organized.  They lack the appearance from flash and Adobe DreamWeaver.  Instead these sites are poverty stricken.  These sites exist through many many key words or key words that will never be used.  The websites are right at the bottom of Google.  I write fast in the fear of the LORD that one day people will be reading them.  I always worry if what I am saying is wrong.  
While I love church and its people we humans are prone to mistakes and though they try to say we can't be wrong mistakes happen.  There are hidden truths in the King James Bible and it is not meant for us to understand it all until Jesus Christ our LORD explains it to us.  In a way I am embarrassed over what I have written and at the same time I know I must speak the truth for God.  Anytime you speak for God as I do on my sites I become an authority figure.  People could actually believe what I am saying so what I better say is Bible truths.  One truth is that the Bible you are holding in your hand if it is not a King James or older Bible is based on corrupt manuscripts.  I am not saying you cannot run a church a website or even be saved by a modern Bible because you can.  People tend to poison God's Word when they preach from other Bibles however it is a well known fact and reality that your church probably preaches from a modern Bible.  Please continue going there unless God directs you somewhere else.  My church teaches grace which is correct.  On the other hand becoming a Christian means something to God and you have a new responsibility.  Reading your Bible in an uncorrupted version is important.  Going to church is also important.  Your money and your time are very important to God.  While work is glorious in God's eyes if you are healthy, it is important to make time for church if possible.  As a Christian we need a good church that will support you and help you.  That is why I attend my church because when I am down as I was today I need someone to check on me.  Websites are most often looked at as coming from a professional that we can look up to not a failure as I was.  I failed God in His commandments and with my money and even my time.  After a Sunday pastor stole all my money I began opperating in fear.  The money was impossible to pay.  This fear I have lived under is not a godly fear.  I feared the outcome from my creditors, when I should have been honoring and fearing the LORD Jesus Christ who has the ability to wipe away my debt. Which he did 11 years later; all but $670.  As you read my words understand I am not a figure of respect or authority but a man like you with faults and has made my share of mistakes.  I can relate to you and perhaps you can relate to me.  I am someone who cares and loves my readers.  I know you have probably had it rough but you are not alone.  Just remember no one in this world that has even a piece of a heart (not referring to pacemakers) knows life is not a box of chocolates.  Life can be downright painful and you may even be at suicide's door.  I made these sites to let you know the deep love God has for you.  Suicide is a lie from the Devil.  It is not the way home nor is it even a way out.  Fight the fight of life and hang out with Jesus. (Php 4:13)  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.  You must overcome this world to gain heaven.   (Rev 2:7)  He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.
Deeply searching the scriptures especially in Hebrew including a well known counterpart the Hebrew New Testament you will start seeing more and more Bible truths.  Later I have found the Latin Vulgate to be a better translation than the Hebrew New Testament though both have their values.  I have another website I took down the links and made impossible to find because it told the truth and lots of it.  People aren't always interested in truth.  Some people want what is comfortable.  The fact is though truth is not always comfortable.  Truth may require changing your way of thinking.  However truth sets free:  John 14:6

P.S.  I should write all the truth but it only makes me sound like a mad man.  While I am a self proclaimed Bible scholar I try to tell the truth as well but the truths that lie hidden in the Bible are mysteries I cannot tell either.  


Important information on being a Christian...

You may not like what I have written!!!


This ministry is not controlled by your money.  It has cost more money than any received any money in its 12 years of operation. I do not have a 501c3 status and I can say whatever I want because I am not controlled by the government as most all churches are.  

I know I have misstated the following words.  This site remains under construction.  I need to put the Bible first in my life and also love as number one.  My moods and sinful ways should not affect my writing style though often it does.  I do not have a team that puts my words together for me.  

Our watered down modern Bibles and pastors who are afraid to say a word of rebuke or condemnation have become the new symbol of America.  While not all pastors are bad all modern Bibles are bad.  If you have a modern Bible as most people do don't stop reading it or give up  on God.  WE CANNOT GIVE UP ON GOD BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY OR OTHER TRUTH.  Often however we want the easy way because it is fun.  While you can have a lot of fun in church sometimes there are important jobs to do in the body of Christ.  

The true Bible the King James God made easy.  He took it out of the original Gothic text and even removed the Apocrypha so it would even be that much easier to read.  For many this is still too hard even for me I had a real hard time giving up my beloved NIV.  I don't want to knock you at this point either.  Read the Bible in whatever form you have; just know before you enter those pearl gates God will hand you a brand new King James Bible.  When you see the difference of the changes you will be amazed and angry with the translators.  I think of the weeping prophet Jeremiah, Ezekiel who lost his wife and was told not to cry, Daniel who was castrated, or the persecuted Apostle Paul I think of people that have suffered.  We don't want to suffer.  Sometimes I think we want to be told everything from God is free.  You can't earn God's grace.  It is a free gift for sinners which I am chief.  You can't work your way into heaven either.  On the other hand you cannot sit on the couch eating Ho Ho's and ice cream thinking God will just zoom you off to heaven when you die.  Christianity comes at a high cost sometimes and you may learn that cost sometime in your life. You can't imagine the lies you have been told even at your church and through your modern Bible.  I build this site for a storm because I see flood I see coming.  I get zero traffic and when I do they just click away.  amen...  

I just found out that Jesus really does love me.  The Almighty God Jesus Christ our LORD is not out to destroy me each and every time I sin.  I learned that Jesus loves me.  I have been having good dreams lately and I have been highly favored.  Some days now I have to ask why the LORD loves me when I sin?  I have proved that God's love is enough to save even me.  God has not allowed harm to come to my loved ones and he has been a blessing.  God is not mad at me for not having a huge ministry.  I remember thinking one day I would be like Billy Graham but that has not happened.  I answer emails from my Marine Corps site Marines for Christ and I feel I do very little.  I have been facing a huge amount of anger and disappointment.  That of course the anger and unforgiveness is changing as of May 31st 2018 as I edit this file.  Years ago when all my money was stolen years ago by an evil and jealous pastor I lost all hope and confidence.  I lost the ability to draw and edit my books but I think I will try again.  For a time my art was beautiful but when I found out all my money was gone I fell apart.  I thought that the LORD hated me.  I felt so bad like I really let the LORD down because I failed God.  What I did not realize it was in God's plans that God would use me in the latter days.  My books that I wanted so bad to publish were not ready nor had the publishing date been in my hands but rather the LORD's timing.  God's time and my time were different.  Here I was counting on God to bless me but God is blessing me where I am today.  Now that I realize that God is no longer angry with me for losing God's money when I was severely ill I realize there is still hope.  This hope gives me peace.  Now I am hoping I can pick up my pencils and begin drawing again.  When time permits I will look at my books too.  Everything in my life and those around me are being blessed by God's love.  I believe my curse has finally ended and that my poverty will end soon.  I am so overjoyed by the love in Christ I am seeing.  amen...
Jesus wants to open your door.  Do you have it locked and sealed or will you open to LORD Jesus Christ?  (Rev 3:20)  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.